The beginning of a new relationship is always one of the most exciting and enjoyable times in our lives, and we probably all wish the feelings that accompany these periods could last forever.
Unfortunately, the reality is sometimes very different.
While it would be nice if every relationship worked out the way we dreamed they would, human nature and the differing personalities of all of us dictate that this is impossible.
When relationships do break down, the couple in question are left with a choice; to try to fix things, or to walk away.
For couples who know the problems in their relationship run too deep to fix by themselves yet still want to make things work, couples therapy can help. Like any therapy, however, the success of the course depends entirely on the effort the clients are prepared to put in.
This includes both partners knowing their responsibilities when attending couples therapy to ensure they get the best results possible.
The first steps in couples therapy
For those undergoing couples therapy in Burlington, identifying what needs to change is the first step. However, it is far from the most important. Success with therapy can only come when action is taken.
To ensure this happens, both partners have to be fully aware that taking action is the real reason for undergoing couples therapy. They also have to be aware of the likelihood of them being reluctant to make changes, whether consciously or unconsciously.
Identifying problems in a relationship often means a swallowing of pride on both sides. Taking the action required to fix them may mean a complete change in behavior and in typical reactions to certain issues.
If the relationship is to be fixed though, both partners should understand that these first steps must take place.
Be the change you wish to see
Relationships are all about give and take. However, if both partners are doing more of the latter than the former, they are doomed to fail from the start.
It’s a similar situation with couples therapy. When both partners set more goals for themselves than they do the other, the course of therapy is likely to yield better results.
It’s human nature to look outside of ourselves to find the causes of our problems. It’s also completely natural to want our partners to change than to adjust our expectations of them.
However, hanging on to these attitudes will only see couples therapy fail to achieve the desired results.
You cannot force your partner to change any more than they can force you. Both partners resolving to change for each other, to be the change they wish to see, is the only way to fix a relationship.
Expect the hard talk
Like any course of communicative therapy, couples therapy works on what is said between the clients and therapist. While this is expected, the type of communication that will need to happen might not be.
It’s not going to be light conversation.
Truths that may be hard to hear will be spoken. Hard questions will be asked and hard answers will have to be given.
That the process will be difficult should not really come as a surprise to anyone. After all, the couple could have fixed their relationship by themselves if it was.
One of the biggest reasons for the failure of many relationships is poor communication. Not talking about problems allows them to incubate and expand beneath the surface.
For those who are serious about repairing their relationship, couples therapy can help. However, for it to be as effective as it can be, both partners need to understand that identifying the issues is only the first step.
Real change comes in taking action.
Both partners must also understand that the best results come only when they are willing to change themselves, and trust their partner to do likewise.
Still, there are no easy fixes. Hard talk is going to be necessary for couples therapy to be a success.
For couples looking for relationship help in Burlington, Dr. Linda Johnston and her board qualified team are highly experienced.
To see if they are compatible with your own couples therapy needs, visit them online at http://drlindajohnston.com.You can also follow them on Google+.
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